A crisis of confidence.

Dear Coach:


I’m graduating in April and I’m getting scared. I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes to go out and get a good job. Everybody says having a job is easy now, but I still have my doubts. How can I raise my confidence?

Quaking

Dear Quaking:

Nearly all of us have an inner voice that whispers to us “You don’t have what it takes” from time to time. In fact it’s so common, coaches regularly have to work with our clients to silence that voice so that they have the confidence to move forward. One exercise that some of my clients find helpful is called the Mentor’s Table.

Here’s how it’s done.

Sit in a comfortable chair and take a minute to clear your mind. Now, imagine a place that is quiet, isolated and safe and which has special meaning for you. Maybe a stretch of beach, a cabin in the woods, a ski chalet. Call up the image as specifically as you can. What season is it? What do hear, see, and feel? What emotions do you feel? Really set the scene for your ideal place.

Now, to your imagined place, invite three people you truly admire -- living or dead, famous or just personally important to you. They should be people you would love to have a conversation with or who you know intimately and who love you. When I did this exercise I chose Buddha, an elderly neighbor and my best friend. Assume that the people you invite have your best interest at heart and want you to succeed.

Now, in turn, imagine each what each one would tell you that would help you see that you have the skills, talents and character to succeed in your job search. Again, try to see them and hear them speaking directly to you in your imagination.

If you are like most of my clients, you will be touched by how others see your strengths and talents. If you are like most people, giving yourself a break from your inner critic can help you gain a new perspective on yourself.