Anxious about your interview? Try this.

Dear Coach:

When I go to an interview, I freeze up, no matter how well I prepare. How can I get over my nerves?

Nail Biter

Dear NB:

First, there would be something wrong with you if you weren’t at least a little nervous about talking to someone who has the ability to change your life with a job offer. The question is how to accept your anxiety and turn it in your favor.

First look at what you tell yourself about anxiety. This month’s Psychology Today cites a study looking at students about to take the Graduate Record Exam. One group was told that nervousness could help them by increasing their performance. Another group received no advice. The result? The first group did better on the test, even if they took the test a month later. Like the first group of students, you can accept that your stress over interviewing is inevitable and that a little stress may help you rise to the occasion.

Second, you might try preparing for your interview beyond looking at the company’s website (which I hope you know is a must). Take a look at news reports and even blogs about issues that important to the company or the industry. Your goal is to feel like you know what’s important to the company. If, for example, you know that the firm is outsourcing work that doesn’t have to do with its core business, you can emphasize the skills you have that contribute to its new direction. You might note that you’ve had experience managing or working with people offsite.

Finally, you can use an imaging exercise that media trainers use to help prepare executives for reporters’ questions. Executives are told to look for questions that allow them to get their key messages across.

To prepare your key messages, imagine that you’re in an ideal interview situation that showcases your best talents perfectly. Imagine what question the interviewer could ask that would lead to him seeing you in the best possible light. Imagine your answer. Be as detailed as you can. Now think of a way to work this response into any interview, including some concrete examples.

For example, you might know that you are an outstanding trouble shooter. Sometime during the interview, the interviewer is bound to ask a question that allows you to highlight this strength. Your job is to make sure your key message gets emphasized. For instance, you could talk about your trouble shooting skills in response to any of these questions: “What do you think others would say about you? What do you contribute to a team? Can you tell me about a project you were proud of?”

Who are you really? Make sure your job matches your personality

Dear coach:


My dad wants me to be an accountant. I know he has my best interest at heart but the idea of working by myself and crunching numbers all day leaves me cold. He’s paying for university and I’d like to please him, but it’s my life, right?

Afraid of Conflict

Dear AC:

There’s a natural tug of war between loving parents who want to give kids the benefit of their experience and sons and daughters who intuitively know that they have every right to decide how they spend their lifetimes.

You’ve indicated what you don’t want: to work by yourself crunching numbers. It will make it easier to talk to your dad if you focus on what you do want.

Take the time to think about the kind of work that would make you happy to get up every morning. Imagine what your ideal work situation would look like on an average day. Be as specific as you can.

· Would you work in teams or on your own?
· Do you work best under deadline, or are you happier if you have time to get every detail nailed?
· Do you like to plan before you proceed, or do you like to work more spontaneously?
· Do you like project work or do you like work that is pretty consistent from day to day?
· Do you like figure out how to do a job or are you happier when the steps are laid out?

Remember, there aren’t right or wrong answers here – just honest ones. Knowing yourself will guide you in finding the work that clicks for you.

After you’ve had time to think about your work style and personal preferences, it will be easier to have a conversation with your dad. You might say, for example:

“Dad, I know you want the best for me and want me to have a good career. I’ve thought about this a lot and I think accounting may not be a good match for me.

I know I’m not a detail guy. I see the big picture and I’m analytical. My strengths are really in pulling together with a team of people, like I did on the school news paper. I know I’m going to be more successful and a lot happier in a career that plays to my strengths.”

Figuring out what makes you happy in a job is important stuff. I’ll use my own kids as an example:
My younger daughter, an extravert, finds the idea of working alone suffocating.

When she had an internship where she was stuck in a cubicle writing reports, she was so bored she turned down a lucrative job the company offered. As a journalist, she found the kind of interaction and adventure she needed to thrive.

My older daughter, an introvert, finds the idea of working on a project uninterrupted heaven. When she had a job giving tours in a national park, she found herself drained at the end of the day from dealing with so many people. Now, as a program manager for the forestry service, she works on program planning that satisfies her need to work quietly and analytically.