Who are you really? Make sure your job matches your personality

Dear coach:


My dad wants me to be an accountant. I know he has my best interest at heart but the idea of working by myself and crunching numbers all day leaves me cold. He’s paying for university and I’d like to please him, but it’s my life, right?

Afraid of Conflict

Dear AC:

There’s a natural tug of war between loving parents who want to give kids the benefit of their experience and sons and daughters who intuitively know that they have every right to decide how they spend their lifetimes.

You’ve indicated what you don’t want: to work by yourself crunching numbers. It will make it easier to talk to your dad if you focus on what you do want.

Take the time to think about the kind of work that would make you happy to get up every morning. Imagine what your ideal work situation would look like on an average day. Be as specific as you can.

· Would you work in teams or on your own?
· Do you work best under deadline, or are you happier if you have time to get every detail nailed?
· Do you like to plan before you proceed, or do you like to work more spontaneously?
· Do you like project work or do you like work that is pretty consistent from day to day?
· Do you like figure out how to do a job or are you happier when the steps are laid out?

Remember, there aren’t right or wrong answers here – just honest ones. Knowing yourself will guide you in finding the work that clicks for you.

After you’ve had time to think about your work style and personal preferences, it will be easier to have a conversation with your dad. You might say, for example:

“Dad, I know you want the best for me and want me to have a good career. I’ve thought about this a lot and I think accounting may not be a good match for me.

I know I’m not a detail guy. I see the big picture and I’m analytical. My strengths are really in pulling together with a team of people, like I did on the school news paper. I know I’m going to be more successful and a lot happier in a career that plays to my strengths.”

Figuring out what makes you happy in a job is important stuff. I’ll use my own kids as an example:
My younger daughter, an extravert, finds the idea of working alone suffocating.

When she had an internship where she was stuck in a cubicle writing reports, she was so bored she turned down a lucrative job the company offered. As a journalist, she found the kind of interaction and adventure she needed to thrive.

My older daughter, an introvert, finds the idea of working on a project uninterrupted heaven. When she had a job giving tours in a national park, she found herself drained at the end of the day from dealing with so many people. Now, as a program manager for the forestry service, she works on program planning that satisfies her need to work quietly and analytically.